Transfromation 2 (adult)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxBe2_tU_Px1emp1djNXcTRYZkE/view?usp=sharing

Transformation 1 (Youth)

Sorry, I had some technical difficulties uploading this brochure through the word template. I'll continue to attempt it, but for now I just took screenshots of the cover and the informational columns.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxBe2_tU_Px1WURDT3JucEVLV2c/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxBe2_tU_Px1RVNzTTlaNEczYms/view?usp=sharing

Self-Analysis

Susli Leon

Zack De Piero

Writing 2

May 29, 2016

                                                                        Self-Analysis

            Within each and every genre there are conventions that target a certain audience. For this reason, to transform an abortion article into a youth’s brochure and an adult’s bible, I had to not only change the setting of the article, but also change the structure, the diction, and the tone. The goal was to eliminate any trace of the conventions of the abortion research article, without changing its meaning. To make this transition, I had to manipulate the perspective of my targeted audience by incorporated my own word choice, imagery, tone, and many other conventions that each transformation required.

            For my youth’s transformation I decided to create a young teen’s clinic brochure. I knew that because of my intense topic my targeted audience had to be limited to young children in middle school. My peers helped me realize that targeting an audience younger than middle schoolers would have been forced and unrealistic. Due to the high increase of sexual activity in young children, I decided to go with a clinic brochure that would be handed out after a sex-ed class.  For this reason, my brochure is not merely based on abortion, but also has other material that would be offered in a sexual education class. To establish the audience for this brochure, I used specific “Moves” to differentiate this clinical brochure from that of an adult. As a way to emphasize the young teenage audience for this brochure, I concentrated on the wording, the appearance, and the way I presented my information.

            In the brochure I implemented simple wording. Because my brochure is intended for the middle school population, I had to use short simple phrases to explain the topics, and bullet points to eliminate huge paragraphs. By doing so, I made it easier for the younger population to read and understand. As for the appearance, I strayed away from lengthy paragraphs, and boring colors. I had to get the attention of the middle school population, and persuade them to want to read my brochure. For this reason, I used a pop of color and numerous pictures to catch their attention. To explain my information, I used headings and bullet points to make the information they are interested in reading easy to find.  

            The beginning of my brochure begins with the name of the clinic and a friendly picture. The name of the clinic is the same name as the organization that was provided in the abortion research article. The friendly picture provided serves as a way to perceive the clinic as friendly and welcoming to teens. At the bottom of the picture I used the researcher’s name as the Dr.’s name to show that the information from both the research article and the brochure were from her. The brochure then proceeds by incorporating helpful information for teens. The columns are organized from different protective barriers to use in sex, to methods available to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. For this reason, the first column discusses contraceptives, the second column discusses Plan B, and the third discusses abortion.

To stay true to the original article, I incorporated the main focus of Shellenberg’s research in the abortion column. Shellenberg’s main argument concentrated on how stigmas effect the experiences and perspectives women go through abortion. To represent this claim, the abortion column informed girls of the stigmas that surround abortion, as well as the positive and negative effects of abortion. Its purpose is to inform teens of facts about abortion so they are fully informed and un-influenced by stigmas when making an important body decision. To help convey this, I used McCloud’s methods presented in Writing with Pictures. For example, I used choice of moment to decide the information that was important to incorporate and the information that was unnecessary (McCloud 157).

I had to choose which moments discussed by Shellenberg flowed the best with my clinical brochure. Is it more important to include how Shellenberg did her research or the results she got from her research? I decided to include the results of Shellenberg’s research. Shellenberg discovered that the way a community perceives abortion effects the women’s experience with abortion. If a community is religiously against or shameful towards abortion, women will feel guilty and hide the fact that they have had an abortion. After abortion, the community’s response will also cause fear. Women will begin to fear that they will not be able to have another child, as well as that they are unworthy of marriage. To represent all these aspects, I had choose the words I wanted to use in my frame correctly (McCloud 158). In a clinical brochure I cannot speak about religion, nor have a biased opinion about abortion. Which is why I chose to state the stigmas, then state both the pros and cons of abortion to allow women to make their own decisions without any false claims or fears.

For my second transformation, I took in consideration the religious stigmas that were discussed in the article. Because of Schulenburg’s research, it was discovered that religious communities have a negative perspective on abortion, and therefore women who abort have a fear of being punished. To represent this religious effect, I decided that my adult transformation would be a bible. To create the bible effect, I had to do as Losh and Alexander suggested, and change the identity of the research article (Losh 145). I changed the role of the article, and fit the ideas and circumstances into the new genre and audience (Losh 149). How did I do this? Well like in the youth’s transformation, I had to change the word choice and choose a flow that fits best with the image of a bible. The bible usually includes a lot of stories that teach the word of God. In order for the transformation to be effective, I had to change the flow of the research paper into the flow of a story. I made this possible by incorporating a beginning, a middle, and end to my bible transformation. I began with a story of a king, then followed the purpose of the story, which was how the king aborted the child of his wife, and I ended the biblical story with a lesson – how aborting a child was considered murder and thus will not go unpunished.

In order to stay true to the structure of a bible, while incorporating the information from the original article, I had to use transitions, sentence numbers, and dialogue. The transitions, were used to move the biblical story along. For example, I used therefore to infer that the previous part of the story leads you to this specific section. The sentence numbers were used to number of each sentence. In an original bible, all the sentences have number to use as references when orally citing, so I included them to stay true the original structure of a bible. Lastly, I used dialogue to represent the biblical story presented in most common bibles.  

Transforming an abortion article into a clinical brochure and a bible took a lot of trial and error. It was very time consuming to see what information works and what does not. Transforming has a lot, if not almost all, to do with the targeted audience. A clinical brochure for adults would look very different to that of a clinical teenage brochure. For this reason, audience is everything. Knowing your audience guides you through the rest of the transformation. It helps you figure out what information is necessary and which is not, what language is appropriate, how the structure should look, and so much more. Without any knowledge of the preferred targeted audience, transformation like those are rigorous to complete. 

PB3A

Effect of Manipulated State Aggression on Pain Tolerance by Richard Stephens and Claire Allsop, argues that a person’s state aggression correlates with the individual’s ability to tolerate pain. To test such claim, Stephens and Allsop evaluated two different group’s pain tolerance – one group was a controlled group and the other was not− based on swearing and video games. To test the state aggression of the both of those experiments, Stephens and Allsop gave each person a questionnaire. To examine their first component –swearing− Stephens and Allsop allowed their “normal” group to react to ice cold water in whatever way they pleased, but limited the controlled group actions by not allowing them to swear during the ice cold water experiment. The results of this experiment showed that the group that was allowed to swear while placing their hand in ice cold water resisted longer than the group that was not allowed to swear. For their second component, their “normal group” was given a golfing video game to play with no extra help, while their controlled group was given a shooting video game with the assistance of cheat codes. This video game experiment indicated that regardless of the extra assistance given, the group that played a violent video game also had more resistance when placing their hand in ice cold water in comparison to the group which played a golfing video game. To finalize their experiment, Stephens and Allsop provided each group with a state hostility questionnaire to test each individual’s state aggression levels after each of the previous experiments. After evaluating the results of these questionnaires, Stephens and Allsop concluded that state aggression does indeed influence or effect the level of tolerance and individual has towards pain.

 Youth:

While reading Stephens and Allsop’s scholarly article, two things stood out to me that shed some light into my lightbulb. One was the concept of pain tolerance, and the second was the concept of swearing. Now, I know that most children genres do not incorporate foul language. However, an important thing to remember is that what is considered foul language to us is different than what is considered foul language to a child. With that said, I thought that I would use a doll’s toy package as my transformation from this article to a children’s genre. The toy package would be of a doll that likes to be tickled, but will use “foul language” to inform the player when the tickling is causing pain, and laughter when it is causing joy. Some examples of the foul language would be: Oww, poo that hurts or Oww, no not there you’re being “mean!” Some more to come as soon as I degrade my knowledge of foul language. I will leave a link to a picture of what I was thinking of below, but with a better, more realistic, looking doll of course. 

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/77/Friendship_Games_Sporty_Style_Fluttershy_doll_back_of_packaging.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150409162335

          

Adults:

         For the adult genre transformation, I decided to only stick with the concept of pain discussed in the article. As I was reading, the words “ice cold water” reminded me of an ice pack, and the constant mention of pain tolerance reminded me of going to the doctor. Therefore, for the adult genre I am deciding to do one of the following: a doctor’s slip, doctor’s prescription for medication form, or a medication/drug label. I am still not sure which one of these would be the best fit in regards to the article, but I do know I want to stay within the doctor/hospital theme. By using a doctor related theme, I think I could incorporate a lot of the data and evidence from the article without it confusing readers or lacking sense.

            

Thlog 7

This week in class we focused on finishing up WP2 and beginning to discuss WP3.

               On Monday’s class it was all about WP2 draft. We discussed the strengths and improvements of our paper, and a few tips to help use complete the final draft. In my WP2 I saw a lot of room for improvement. I was not a fan of my draft one single bit. I had an argument that did not relate with the articles, and my first body paragraph was just words on words with no meaning. I really did not know where I was heading with the paper, so I just began to write gibberish. I wished I had put more effort into my rough draft because that would have made it the final a whole lot easier. For my final draft, I ended up starting over from the beginning. Although, the result was ten times better than the draft, it was a little complicated to finish.

               On Wednesday’s class we did something drastically different. Instead of our normal class we had an online course. At first, I was a little hesitant about this online class. I felt that with my luck I would accidentally forget to attend the online class or be completely lost throughout the entirety of the class. However, the online class was pretty easy to follow through and really fun. I like the way the WP3 was introduced to us. The young vs. old genre activity was really helpful to decipher the difference between the genres in the two age groups. After all the explanation, I am still confused on PB3A. Is PB3A a simple brainstorming exercise or are we discussing our articles? I don’t know, I am confused. I am just hoping all confusion is cleared up in next week’s class. 

Videos (online class questions)

Moves :
   
Bob Ross and His "Happy Trees"

• Bob Ross as a cartoon animation.
• Using contradicting personalities, but same appearance. 
• They show the cartoon with the same hair and clothes as the original Bob Ross's video, but in the cartoon they make him a painter with a sudden temper to add comedy.
• It has the same tone of voice. 
• When Bob Ross teaches how to paint a tree he makes it sound and look very simple, even though it is not so.
• Shows the well-done nature picture frame in the back. 

Bob Ross Clips

• Display his canvass appropriately to the best angle of the camera. 
• Make sure the paint palette is visible to the viewers 
• Emphasizes the importance of using the right tools
• When he is about to paint a tree he specifies which type of brush you have to use as well as the color of the paint.
• Gives a very detailed description of how the paint brush should be stroked when attempting to draw the tree or mountain. 

4 Disney) Artist paint one tree 

• The artist is not the one speaking through the process. 
• instead the video has a narrator, maybe to stay true to the "Disney" vibe.
• Each artist has a quick clip 
• focuses more on the techniques of the artist rather than trying to show you how to draw a tree. 
• Artist are drawing outside while looking at the object at hand. 

Artist Description

Bob Ross and His "Happy trees"

• This animated cartoon the artist describes his actions in a very simple matter. Instead of going into detail the cartoon simply says we will put a bush here. It focuses on what the cartoon will be doing, rather than how they did it. This clips is style is mostly to entertain and for fun, 

Bob Ross Clips 

• Bob Ross on the other hand, is very detailed with his descriptions. Although he makes the process look and sound very simplistic, he does not undermine the importance of specifics. In his clips he is always very calm, and makes sure to specify the tools he will use and specific hand motions to get the ideal tree. Bob Ross's style is very simple and calming. It makes me hopeful that if I attempted to draw a tree it would come out just like his did. 

4 (Disney) Artist Paint one tree 

• These painters were very interesting to watch, but not as helpful. This clip has a narrator to describe the painters as if it was a Disney novel. In this clip the artist themselves don't speak they just draw. They take their canvass and painting tools outside for inspiration. This clip is mostly so that the viewer gets impressed by how well their artist can draw trees, since the artist were not really explaining their steps nor they techniques. 

Journal (Online class)

Q1;
      After completing my WP2, I was happy with the articles I choice. I was very interested in my topic and therefore had a lot of fun writing it. I was also very happy with the organization of my essay. I think it was easy to follow, and easy to understand the theme of my essay. On the other hand, I was not really happy with paragraphs. My organization was very chronological and easy to follow, but I just had a hard time deciding where to split my paragraphs so that they would not be to long. I also think maybe I could have organized my thoughts slightly better. Because of all the questions we had to answer, I sometimes felt I was losing my argument while I was writing my paper.

Q2:
   
     The two or three comments that were the most helpful were those regarding my argument and clarification. While my partner was reading my paper, she made sure to tell me that my argument had to be more clear. As of now, she said, "it does not seem like you are arguing anything." This comment helped me rethink the theme of my paper and helped me decide exactly what I wanted to argue. In addition, my partner also said that I should clarify what some of the words we learned in class, since I do not want to assume that my audience already knows the definition of those words.

Thlog 6

This week in class we reviewed a subject that was much needed. Because I missed the second class of last week, I was little thrown off by moves. However, the first class of this week was all about reviewing moves which helped me clarify some misconceptions. Knowing the difference between conventions and moves was also very helpful. I now understand that moves are an Author’s choice and conventions mostly focus on the genre of a writing piece. Something interested that was stated during class was that conventions could be used as moves, but moves could not be used as conventions. I thought that was a clever way of looking at the two. In addition, we also learned new writing tips to help improve our writing. One that really caught my attention was the hedge language and qualified claim. While writing, I never noticed how right I though my claims needed to be. As Zack stated, I did always think that my claim or argument had no room for error. If I uses words like most, the majority, or often I felt like I was doubting myself, thus losing credibility from my readers. Now I know that using these words provides more credibility in a paper, because of the available room for error.

            In the second class, we began to peer-review WP2’s from other students. This was extremely helpful because it showed me what my paper should look like. Before I thought, I was going to write an essay on the topic I chose using the different articles as evidence, but now I know that we are suppose compare and contrast the moves, conventions, and rhetorical styles of each article. Which kind of demolished my excitement for writing WP2. 

Thlog 5

Yay! Another successful week. This week was one those heavy weeks filled with a mass variety of information.

               In Monday’s class we once again learned a few tricks and tips to improve our writing. One of which was italics. According to Zack italics have a variety of purposes and can improve writing if used correctly. One way of using italics I am well known with is in titles. That is about the only time I would ever use italics. Now however, I know that italics can be used as way of emphasis on certain words. We also looked at different topics and all the different perspectives they could be looked at. The activities in class helped me get a better understanding on how one topic could have many disciplines. It was fun to see how the perspective of a psychologist differs on a specific topic differs drastically from that of a religious studies major.

               Another topic we focused on was the IMRAD structure.  It was interesting to learn the meaning of each part of a research article and what it does for the paper. I also did not know the reason for use of this structure is because it mimics the order of steps an individual does while doing research. My conclusion on why they would use this specific structure is simply because it made sense.

               On Wednesday’s class, the topic of Moves was discussed. We defined moves and established what they do to a paper. It was interesting to see how the way an author presents a sentence or topic is strategical. It all has a purpose and is part of their well-developed plan to reach a specific goal. The They Say I Say appendix was very helpful in understanding this topic especially while writing PB2B. 

PB2B

Lets Move it Along

 “Moves” are rhetoric devices used by writers to reach a specific goal in writing. “They say, I say” provides a few examples of the most common moves most writers tend to use.

               One of these moves is called Something you Say. Something you Say is presented as being the opinion of the writer. It is the part of the paragraph where the writer describes its own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about their specific subject. This move is used very commonly as it was very easy to find it amongst our readings. In Navigating Genres, the writers presents this when he writes “I think it’s time to try our hand at approaching genre...” (24). As you can see, Dirk begins this sentence with “I” to inform the reader that what he is was about to say is coming from Dirk, himself, and not a text book.

               The second move I will be discussing is Introducing Standard Views. Introducing Standard Views is when the writer incorporates a common subject and their writing piece. Whether it is a common belief, ideology, quote, or fact, it will discuss −as the name implies− standard views. Unlike the previous move this one was a little more challenging to find with in our readings. Carroll manages to present this move in her writing pieces, Backpacks vs. Briefcases. As Carroll discusses personal interactions with in people, she writes “we have all heard that you can’t judge a book by its cover, but in fact, we do it all the time” (38). In this sentence, Carroll brought up a standard view known by the general public, and then added her two cents in by commenting on the phrase.

               The third move mentioned in the appendix is Explaining Quotations. In shorter words Explaining Quotation technically means analysis. It is when a writer further explains and analyses a quote. Like the first move described above, this one is also very common. All writers need to provide evidence in their papers, therefore need to provide an analysis as well.  This is seen in Carroll’s writing piece once again. After introducing a quote to one of her paragraphs she follows by writing “In other words (…)”, explains the meaning of the quote (40). That is basically the just of Explaining Quotations. After, introducing a quotation in a paragraph the writer must further explaining by breaking it down or provided further information on the quote used.

               The fourth move that will be discussed from the appendix is Introducing Objections informally. As a writer you know many readers will not agree with your argument no matter how well supported it is. For this reason, writers use something called a counter argument. Introducing Objection Informally is similar to a counter argument. The writer discussed certain objection one may have of their topic and defends it. For example, in page 33 Elbow writes “But does freewriting or uncensored, generative writing really enhance creative first-order thinking?” By stating this, Elbow is challenging the readers to question his claim, but then establishes credibility by providing evidence to support his point of view.

               Last but not least, the fifth move I will be discussing from the appendix is (drum roll please), Agreeing and Disagreeing.  As the name infers, it is when the writer discusses why someone might agree with something, but then explains his/her reasons for disagreeing with it. An example of this is shown in the So what who Cares reading. In page 53, the write wrote “Although answering the “who cares?” is crucial, in many cases it is not enough, especially if you are writing for (…)”The author first begins by saying something positive about the topic, “it is crucial” however, he/she then disagrees by saying it is not as important standing alone.

               Now let’s get into moves not described in the appendix.

               The first non-appendix related move is give me directions. In give me directions the reader provides information to their reader in form of directions. For example, Carroll provides an example of this in her subtopic called beginning to analyze. Her first sentence of this paragraph is “once you have established the context for the rhetoric you are analyzing, you can being to think about (…).” In his paragraph Carrol is directing the reader through a process. She is providing the reader with directions to successfully analyze.

               The second non-appendix move is the checklist. Similar to that of give me directions, the writer uses a checklist to direct the reader in the direction they want. The checklist is a list of thing presented in a form of bullet points to provide a guide for the reader. For example, in page 66 Boyd inserts a list of bullet points as a check list for reports.

               The third move I will discuss is engaging the reader. There are different ways to engage a reader to a writing piece. The check list with questions of how to do or how the reader did something could be one, but a specific type if when the writer forces the reader to engage. If they are discussing a confusing topic and then provide a “you try”, or any form of hand on hand practice. A good example of this is in page 52 from So What Who Cares. The author provides a list of practice examples so that the reader can understand the topic with more clarity.

               The fourth move seen in many writing pieces is the use of italics.  Many authors italicize different word to create emphasis and make the word stand out to the reader. For example, in Navigating Genres Dirk states “people learned how to do small talk to ease the social discomfort of the large group (…).” In this sentence Dirk italicized small talk to emphasize that it is the word of importance and the focus of that particular sentence.

               The final and last move I will be discussing is the long quotation effect. This move is when the writer is inputting a long quotation, and changes the spacing and possibly the font of that the specific words in the quotation. An example of this is in How to Read like a Writer page 83.